


It Never Turns Out Well When Gavin Is Bored

by RavenpuffWrites



Series: Must Have Done Something Right [1]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: FAHC, Fake AH Crew, Fluff and Humor, Genderfluid Jack, Geoff is out of town and Gavin is bored, Hijinks & Shenanigans, It's a recipe for disaster of the best kind, Non-Binary Gavin, Non-Binary Jeremy, Other, Platonic Relationships, Ryan is a self sacrificing idiot, There's not a lot of plot, Trans Character, Trans Michael, Trans Ryan, chat fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-22 17:34:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22320016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenpuffWrites/pseuds/RavenpuffWrites
Summary: GoldenBoi: I’m boredTimothyRimothy: Hey Gav, want to help me and Michael with something?GoldenBoi: 👀Mogar: We’re down in the garageGoldenBoi: Weird, suddenly I’m not bored anymore.
Series: Must Have Done Something Right [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1606528
Comments: 8
Kudos: 71





	It Never Turns Out Well When Gavin Is Bored

**Author's Note:**

> I have no control, so I wrote a fahc chat fic. 
> 
> Jeremy uses xe/xem/xyr/xemself  
> Jack uses she/they  
> Gav uses so/sol/sols/solaireself
> 
> Gavin: GoldenBoi  
> Jeremy: TimothyRimothy  
> Michael: Mogar  
> Ryan: LovelyRyan  
> Jack: CrewMom  
> Trevor: NotTrevor  
> Alfredo: DefinitelyTrevor  
> Geoff: CrewDad

**GoldenBoi:** I’m bored

**TimothyRimothy:** Hey Gav, want to help me and Michael with something?

**GoldenBoi:** 👀

**Mogar:** We’re down in the garage

**GoldenBoi:** Weird, suddenly I’m not bored anymore.

* * *

**CrewMom:** Well that can only be bad news.

**LovelyRyan:** Probably.

**LovelyRyan:** But it’s Geoff’s turn to bail them out, so I don’t care.

**CrewMom:** Geoff isn’t in town right now.

**LovelyRyan:** Well they better not get caught then or they have a long night in jail.

**CrewMom:** … You wouldn’t leave them in jail if we paid you too.

**LovelyRyan:** Try me.

* * *

**TimothyRimothy:** You know I’m offended that you think we would be doing something worthy of going to jail

**LovelyRyan:** Are you not?

**Mogar:** We just wanted ice cream, not crime

**TimothyRimothy:** It’s really just plain rude.

**CrewMom:** Yeah but trouble always follows you three.

**CrewMom:** Just you wait.

* * *

**GoldenBoi:** Jeremy just casually telling people xe is bi is one of the best things in the entire world

**TimothyRimothy:** Everyone thinks I’m straight and it’s a  _ curse _

**TimothyRimothy:** So I have to rectify it at every chance.

**LovelyRyan:** Do I want to ask what happened?

**Mogar:** … Well you can ask but I don’t know if we have time to answer

**CrewMom:** What does that mean?

**Mogar:** …

**CrewMom:** Michael, what does that mean?!

**Mogar:** What do you think it means?

**LovelyRyan:** Geoff isn’t here to bail you out, so don’t get caught.

**Mogar:** Please, Ryan

**Mogar:** When have we ever got caught?

* * *

**CrewMom:** They definitely got caught, right?

**LovelyRyan:** Oh for sure. They were driving Jeremy’s car and that thing is not subtle.

**CrewMom:** So you’re going to leave them in jail until Geoff gets home, right?

**LovelyRyan:** Of course I am.

**CrewMom:** … we’ll see.

* * *

**LovelyRyan:** Are you busy?

**DefinitelyTrevor:** Kind of, why?

**LovelyRyan:** Grab your gun. I need some help.

**DefinitelyTrevor:** Shit okay

* * *

**CrewMom:** It hasn’t even been  _ two hours,  _ Ryan

**CrewMom:** At least let them stay in there a little longer so they learn their lesson

**LovelyRyan:** …

**LovelyRyan:** whoops?

**CrewMom:** jfc

**LovelyRyan:** Look, in my defense, Gavin was the one who called and they know I can’t say no to sol.

**CrewMom:** In your defense, you’re a fucking softie

**CrewMom:** You’re supposed to be terrifying, Ryan! You’re the Vagabond!

**LovelyRyan:** Ehh I’m off the clock

**CrewMom:** You said you wouldn’t go get them

**LovelyRyan:** And we both knew that was a lie.

**CrewMom:** Make sure you have money.

**LovelyRyan:** Oh I stole TrevorCard like two days ago.

**LovelyRyan:** But who said I was going to get them out with money?

**CrewMom:** Ryan n o

**LovelyRyan:** Ryan yes

**LovelyRyan:** It’s fine, Fredo is with me

**CrewMom:** Oh good lord

* * *

**NotTrevor:** Hey Jack?

**CrewMom:** I had nothing to do with this

**NotTrevor:** You had nothing to do with…?

**CrewMom:** Whatever you were about to ask, I had no part in it.

**CrewMom:** I have been in the penthouse all evening, building Legos and decidedly not getting into whatever the hell the others are up to.

**NotTrevor:** I was just going to ask if you’ve seen TrevorCard but now I’m worried

**CrewMom:** Ryan has it

**CrewMom:** And before you ask no Ryan isn’t around, he went with Alfredo to get the lads out of jail.

**NotTrevor:** I’m going to see them on the news tonight aren’t I?

**CrewMom:** Not if you don’t turn it on!

* * *

**LovelyRyan:** Hey Jack

**CrewMom:** Is anyone hurt?

**LovelyRyan:** Not seriously

**CrewMom:** No gunshot wounds, broken bones, nothing like that?

**LovelyRyan:** A few scrapes and bruises but that’s it

**Jack:** Are you in serious danger?

**LovelyRyan:** Not at the moment

**CrewMom:** Then no.

**LovelyRyan:** Yeah okay

**CrewMom:** If that changes then maybe

* * *

**DefinitelyTrevor:** Hey Trevor?

**DefinitelyTrevor:** If Ryan hypothetically crashed a vehicle into the ocean and got us stranded, what would be the chances of you coming to pick us up?

**NotTrevor:** Why don’t you ask Jack? They’re a better pilot than me by far.

**DefinitelyTrevor:** She already said no

**NotTrevor:** Well you better start swimming then.

**DefinitelyTrevor:** Trevor no!

**DefinitelyTrevor:** Seriously?

**NotTrevor:** Seriously.

* * *

**LovelyRyan:** I should have left you assholes in jail

**GoldenBoi:** aw but Ryan! We said thank you, Ryan!

**TimothyRimothy:** Yeah Ry, we really appreciate it

**Mogar:** No I think you’re a fucking idiot

**LovelyRyan:** Hey! You were ganging up with them too.

**Mogar:** Well yeah because I didn’t want to have to go swimming, are you crazy? It’s fucking freezing out here.

**Mogar:** I was going to suggest we said Fredo, but you let these two talk you into it because you’re weak

**DefinitelyTrevor:** Wait hold up

**DefinitelyTrevor:** You were going to send  _ me _ ?!

**Mogar:** I mean you’re the rookie so yeah it makes sense

**LovelyRyan:** Where were you with this logic twenty minutes ago?

**Mogar:** Well you had pretty much resigned to your fate before we even started debating who would go get the boat

**Mogar:** The light left your eyes the instant you realized we were trapped here

**LovelyRyan:** Yeah well at least if one of us is going to freeze to death it might as well be me

**TimothyRimothy:** Are you really that cold?

**LovelyRyan:** I mean I can barely type because my hands are shaking so much but it’s fine

**Mogar:** Goddamnit Ryan

**Ryan:** No! Put your jackets back on! It is cold out here!

**TimothyRimothy:** James Ryan Haywood shut your fucking mouth before I call Jack

**Mogar:** Too late that’s probably enough to summon them

**CrewMom:** …

**CrewMom:** RYAN HAYWOOD!

**LovelyRyan:** oh shit

**GoldenBoi:** Hey Jack, do you think you could come pick us up from the docks before Rybread gets sick or something?

**CrewMom:** I’m on my fucking way.

* * *

**CrewDad:** So

**CrewDad:** Let me just get this straight

**TimothyRimothy:** I think not being straight was the problem, actually

**CrewDad** You’re about three seconds from being out of a job, Dooley, shut your mouth.

**TimothyRimothy:** sorry

**CrewDad:** This started because Gavin said he was bored

**CrewDad:** And no one thought it was a good idea to stop Michael and Jeremy when they said they had a plan.

**LovelyRyan:** They wouldn’t have listened anyways

**CrewDad:** You could have tried

**Mogar:** I mean, we were just going out for ice cream

**CrewDad:** It’s never just ice cream with you idiots

**LovelyRyan:** Funny, Jack said the same thing

**CrewDad:** The three idiots went out for ice cream

**CrewDad:** Jeremy got caught checking out some couple

**TimothyRimothy:** They were very attractive and I’m bi and a disaster fucking sue me

**GoldenBoi:** They probably would have liked to, Jeremy, to be fair

**CrewDad:** That would have been better considering you started a fiGHT INSIDE OF A FUCKING DAIRY QUEEN

**CrewDad:** And if that wasn’t fucking enough then you had to turn around and ROB THE FUCKING PLACE BECAUSE SOMEONE WAS AN ASSHOLE

**Mogar:** No let’s just be clear; it was a homophobic asshole who ran the place

**Mogar** They got exactly what was coming for them

**CrewDad:** Then you got arrested and called fucking Ryan of all people to pay your bail

**CrewDad:** Only Ryan decided it was a better use of time to break you out and took Alfredo with him

**LovelyRyan:** I do not regret that decision

**LovelyRyan:** If you had heard Gavin on the phone, you would have made the same decision.

**GoldenBoi:** Ryan, I told you I was fine, Ryan. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary.

**LovelyRyan:** And I told you that I know you better than that. And no one gets away with making you cry except for us.

**GoldenBoi:** …

**GoldenBoi:** thanks, Ry

**CrewDad:** … You could have at least got them out before you started shooting up the damn place

**CrewDad:** Which attracted half the police force to chase you around the city until they shot down your helicopter and I guess assumed you died in the ocean but you managed to land on an island relatively safe

**TimothyRimothy:** I mean half of us bailed and use parachutes because we didn’t trust Ryan’s flying but yeah

**LovelyRyan:** Fredo was the only one that rode it out with me. The only one who believed.

**TimothyRimothy:** I’m pretty sure he was just too scared of you not to ride it out

**LovelyRyan:** Smart man.

**CrewDad:** No he’s not smart Ryan! And neither were you, which is what fucking gets me!

**CrewDad:** You’re supposed to be the smart one compared to these idiots but instead you let them convince you to dive into the ocean in the middle of winter just so you could go get them a boat

**CrewDad:** And then almost gave yourself fucking hypothermia on the ride back to shore because you were soaked and kept refusing attempts to get you warm.

**LovelyRyan:** They would get cold also and then what was I supposed to do?

**LovelyRyan:** Someone has to keep this crew safe and alive

**CrewMom:** To do that you need to keep yourself safe and alive as well

**LovelyRyan:** I  _ lived. _

**LovelyRyan:** And the others are more important anyways

**CrewDad:** … you’re a fucking moron

**CrewDad:** You and I are having a long fucking chat when I get back

**LovelyRyan:** Is that going to be soon?

**LovelyRyan:** The lads have all decided to attack me and I need to be freed from them.

**CrewDad:** Good.

**CrewDad:** Maybe they can get through your thick skull how much we care about you. 


End file.
